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Rock N' Roll Nightmare - Review

Rock N' Roll Nightmare
1987
Director John Fasano

“I knew if I pissed you off long enough you’d make a personal appearance.”



Rock n' Roll Nightmare is one of those films you run across every so often that is a truly surreal experience. It's a true product of the eighties with an ending that features one of the greatest WTF moments of cinema history - I defy anyone to honestly say they saw it coming. If they do they’re a liar! Before we go further, in order to properly appreciate this film it's important you know a bit about the star of Rock n' Roll Nightmare, Jon Mikl Thor...

Jon Mikl Thor, or Thor for short, is a Canadian musician who originally got his start as a body builder. He had a successful career and eventually won the titles of both Mr. Canada and Mr. USA. He is also the front man of Thor, a metal band that has been rockin' since the 1970s. Thor dresses in warrior costumes, carries props and weapons onstage, and incorporates feats of strength into his act such as bending steel bars and mic stands, breaking concrete blocks, and battling mutants and monsters. In 1987 he wrote, produced and starred in the film I'm reviewing tonight - Rock N' Roll Nightmare, aka The Edge of Hell.

Rock n' Roll Nightmare tells the story of a band called The Tritonz that is headed to a remote farmhouse in Toronto to record their new album. Why there? Because "Toronto's where it's happening man!"

It opens with a scene from ten years prior - a family (in the very same house the band is headed to) was brutally murdered there by some type of creatures, demons. This is about the only explanation you get, and it ultimately isn't important. What is important is the van that is currently headed toward the house carrying the Tritonz.

We get a good bit of padding here of the van, a white full-sized beauty, driving down various roads. When they finally arrive we meet the band - lead singer John Triton (Thor), his girlfriend Randy (Teresa Simpson), bassist Roger Eburt (Frank Dietz), his wife Mary (Liane Abel), drummer Stig (Jim Cirile, who speaks in one of the worst Austrailian accents ever put on film), guitarist Max (David Lane), his girlfriend Lou Anne (Jillian Peri), and keyboardist Dee Dee (Denise Dicandia). Along with them is their manager, Phil.

 Quick aside on actor Frank Dietz, who plays bassist Roger Eburt (Being Canadian I'm not sure if Thor was familiar with the American film critic Roger Ebert, when he wrote this, or if the name was just coincidence - but it is kind of unintentionally funny). Frank had appeared with Thor the year before (1986) in the film Zombie Nightmare, and would appear the following year in another Rock n' Roll horror classic, Black Roses. Frank met the actress who plays his wife in the film, Liane Abel, on the set of RNR Nightmare, and the two actually got married in real life.

The band gets settled in, eat some dinner then head out to the barn where there is a full sized 24 track recording studio once used by Alice Cooper. It's time to rock! Thor tells the guys, “Let’s tune our weapons!” Awesome. The band gets completely decked out in stage attire for this rehearsal. Thor sports a shiny silver leopard print jacket with tails, spandex pants, and a hairdo that must have took a whole can of hairspray. The band plays WE LIVE TO ROCK, one of the best songs in the movie and one Thor still plays regularly at live shows to this day.




This is where we first get a look at one of the demons haunting the premises, a flesh colored one-eyed monster that spits up some kind of slimy goo into Phil's drink when he isn’t looking. No I didn't just make that up. Phil takes a sip of the drink, notices it tastes a little strange, shrugs and gulps it down anyway. Growing boy needs his protein!

 At the end of the song Stig breaks a drum stick so Phil heads down to the basement to get some spare sticks. While down there Lou Anne appears behind him. She says she wants him, and seduces him with a flash of boob. As they're making out she transforms into a snarling demon and takes a huge bite out of his shoulder. The band hears his scream and runs downstairs but the basement is empty. They look outside and the van is gone, so they figure he probably couldn't find the drumsticks and went into town to pick some up. Thor isn't so sure and suspects something is up...

Cut to the evening and all the couples are getting it on (except for Thor who is preoccupied writing lyrics). Stig proves to be a real one minute wonder, leaving Lou Anne unsatisfied to say the least. He gets up to go to the bathroom, to “drain the dragon” and while he’s admiring himself in the mirror in walks some random sexy woman he’s never seen before. Not one to ask questions, Stig, in true rock and roll fashion, reaches for mystery woman’s boob – lots of boob action in this film - and she suddenly turns into a green skinned slimy monster frothing blood from the mouth. She reaches out and grabs Stig’s face…

Cut back to the bedroom where Stig, now possessed by whatever evil lurks in the house, slowly approaches Lou Anne. He jumps on top of her and they start getting it on. Lou Anne is suddenly enjoying Stig’s new found sexual prowess – the man’s a machine! Guess that’s one perk to demon possession they don’t teach you about in Sunday School!

One by one the band members fall to the dark forces inhabiting the house. Roger and Mary are next, done in while doing dishes – that’s what they get for performing such non-metal domestic chores! Meanwhile the band is ready to rehearse their next song - but, refusing to let Roger’s absence hold them back, they decide to “Rock on for the newlyweds” without him. It’s a mid-tempo rocker called “ENERGY” and we once again get the whole song here. Not a bad song but not as catchy as WE LIVE TO ROCK or the one played at the finale of the film, my personal favorite, ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE.

Practice goes over so well that the couples head their own separate way to celebrate. You know, I’m sensing a theme here – sex, rock, sex, rock – a formula all the classics follow! Lou Anne, anxious to see if Stig still has some of that magic he displayed the night before, takes a walk with him down by the pond. As they undress he pulls his shirt open and a clawed demon hand tears through his chest and grabs her – you guessed it - by the boob! Dee Dee and Max have hooked up and are lying naked in bed when they hear Lou Anne’s screams. “Sounds like Stig is giving her what she deserves!”

If you thought the shower scene in Psycho was scary, you ain’t seen nothing yet! Thor and Randy hit the shower and get it on… and on, and on, and on! Grand bit of padding here but turns out it was necessary. During filming one of the cameramen forgot to change the film reels and they wound up missing scenes they thought were in the can. The solution – cut the film so it met feature length with that time honored tradition of padding.

Eventually the band is all picked off by the demons and the only people left are Thor and his girlfriend. And this is where the movie takes a turn into the bizarre. I won’t spoil the ending - it’s one of those you have to see to believe. Trust me, I wouldn’t spoil it for you and anyone who does is an asshole!

 

Rock n’ Roll Nightmare is directed by John Fasano, who also directed the rock n’ roll classics ZOMBIE NIGHTMARE and BLACK ROSES. Fasano wound up casting several of his friends in key roles, including childhood friend Frank Dietz and brother in law Jim Cirile.

In case you can’t tell, I love this movie. Rock n’ Roll Nightmare is a fun 80’s flick that never takes itself too seriously. The film seems to embrace the schlockiness of the subject matter, thriving because of it rather than struggling from it. Rubber puppet monsters coexist side by side with 80s hair metal – what could be better than that? The script is written by Thor, who also wrote all the music in RNRN. Ultimately though it is the ending that makes this film stand out above its rock n’ roll brethren. Thor has played Nashville several times and I’ve set up several shows for him here myself. We even screened RNR Nightmare before he played one year, with Thor and I doing a running commentary during the movie. Rock n Roll Nightmare is one film that kicks some serious ass – highly recommended!

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Interview with Jon Mikl Thor

 This is an interview from 2011 that was printed in part on the Rue Morgue Magazine website, and I'm proud to present it in full here...

 It's my pleasure today to chat with my good buddy Jon Mikl Thor, the legendary musician, body builder, and star of the 80s classic, ROCK N' ROLL NIGHTMARE. 

Greetings Jon - how're you doing buddy?

I'm doing great. I'm here in Vancouver British Columbia, way up north. Just coming from the gym.

So you're still working out regularly right?

Absolutely - gotta keep the guns in top shape, as well as other parts of the body.

Are you an early morning guy? Do you typically work out in the morning?

Well my schedule's all over the place because I have so many projects going on. I work out at night and get up and work out early in the morning as well.

Do you prefer the gym or do you have a setup at home, too?

I've been doing body building and athletics for so many years I prefer anything and everything. For example this morning I just ran around the park, and I have very unique ways to try and make my workouts interesting, not just metal plates and bar bells. all kinds of stuff - there's all sorts of ways to exercise.

When you're on a set or on tour you naturally don't have access to that stuff so I guess you have to find ways to keep in shape.

That's the one thing about being on the road is that when I do my show that is my workout. I'm bending steel or I'm smashing bricks, or I'm jumping around on stage fighting monsters. It's a great workout.

Definitely. The first time we met when you were on tour here in Nashville... that was the Thor against the World tour, I believe. Then you came back for Devastation of Musculation - you've had a few more albums since then haven't you?

Absolutely. Sign of the V, Live in Detroit and we re-released unchained, Only the Strong... there's been some digital releases like Steamclock and so on. So we just keep pumpin out albums every year. We have the upcoming album the THOR soundtrack, which will accompany the new THOR THE ROCK WARRIOR movie.

Cool. Now is Steve, Steve Price, working on that album with you?

Yeah Steve is involved with that, and also Ken Burke of Burkefield productions here in Vancouver. he's a platinum award winning producer so its great to have him on board.

That first time I saw you in Nashville you had Steve playing and he brings a real sense of old school showmanship to the stage, plus he's a great guitarist.

Absolutely we just did some shows recently we did the Quebec metal fest and also Toronto and headlined in Montreal. I'd say he's one of the greatest guitarists in the world.

So how many songs are going to be on the new soundtrack?

There's gonna be 12 songs on there plus we have an introduction on there called Thundergod which I worked on with a guitarist named Mike Kishnick. We've got some great stuff in there, narration, clips from the movie Thor the Rock Opera. Now, there's various Thor movies coming out right now. I've been doing Thor now for so many years that I claim the title of Thor. I am the real Thor - I have the trademark of Thor the Rock Warrior, the metal avenger and the copyright of Thor the Rock Warrior which was a graphic novel I put out in 1982. Now there's the Marvel movie Thor, but this is Thor the Rock Opera.

Now this doesn't have anything to do with Rock n Roll Nightmare or the Intecessor sequel?

Yes it does. There are elements of Rock n Roll Nightmare in there and Intecessor. I'm producing this movie with john Fasano. Now of course John and I worked on Zombie Nightmare together, rock n Roll Nightmare together and the great thing is his son John Cody Fasano is the director  and co-writer of this film.

Now he was in Rock and roll nightmare, right?

No actually that was his brother, Jessie - he wasn't born yet at that time. But we also have Jessie in this movie as well.

Now this movie is very unique. I liken it to 2001 a Space Odyssey. It's got music in it, it's neat in that you see me age as time goes on. You see me play Dan Roebuck is in it, Mark McCaley Leslie Easterbrook - there's parts of my life, never seen before footage, acting parts - and I pay tribute to all the different musicians I've played with over the years going back to some who are not with us any more, like John Chan, sergeant sword, Billy wade . You know over the years great warriors, some of them pass on and they go on to Valhalla. So this movie will keep everybody the great champions of the past remembered.

So if I'm getting this right it's part documentary, part rock opera, part concert?

Yes there's elements of everything and there is a story of the great warrior Thor who comes to Midgard, Earth, and has to battle and carry on the truth and the great fight. there's elements of Norse mythology mixed with reality. Cause I'm saying Thor was a real character, and I actually did the Thor concept traveled  the earth as Thor wielding the hammer, so we've got both universes combining to one. So there's acting, there's music, and I think it's one of the most unique concepts. People who have seen advanced screeners of this say it's one of the most unique and amazing pieces of film they've ever seen.

Sounds pretty ambitious, totally different from the previous two Thor movies.

Yeah you've gotta be ambitious these days, you've gotta be unique, No holds barred, no rules out there I think. The entertainment must capture the audience and tell a story your own way.

Especially when you're working outside the Hollywood system. So you're wrapping this up - shooting in, what, Canada and then do some more scenes in Hollywood?

Yeah they were shot in Canada. Also in Florida and a couple of upcoming days of shooting that will take place in California with John Cody Fasano directing.

Then when it's finished what's the plan - you going to show it when you tour?

Yeah we're gonna do a multimedia tour with it. One of the first showings of it will be in London Ontario at the shock stock film-fest. we will be giving a rock concert and they're showing the movie.  We find this goes over really well. Then we plan to play some key cities and go over to Sweden where we'll be part of the Thor international film festival and also the muscle rock festival with bands from all over Europe. we'll be headlining the festival along with Girl School, Warrant and Blaze. That'll be really great. Then at the Thor international film festival they're gonna show Zombie Nightmare, Rock n Roll Nightmare and Thor the rock opera will be the feature.

...and you've got the American tour you're doing too, right?

Yes we're going to play select cities and one place we definitely want to get to is Nashville - we feel we have a lot of great bands down there, a lot of great friends. I have fond memories of playing Nashville.

We look forward to seeing you down here again and I know the turnout is always great when you come.

When we come down there we wanna do the full blitz and give the best show we possibly can and show them Thor the Rock Opera.

That would be great. So when do you think you'll have the film wrapped up?

Scheduled release of April 21st, 2011 through DVD, bluray, digital release, select showings in various theaters. The whole purpose is to play live and then show it and of course through amazon and our website at thorcentral.com

Remember these other movies coming out are imitations, not the real thing. We want to make sure to make that clear there's only one true Thor.

Well said. It's something I've devoted my life to - most of my life I've devoted my life to the character. it's part of my real name. I have Norwegian-Austrian heritage. I've been Thor the Rock Warrior for going on over 40 years. I have the right to the throne not Chris Hemsworth

Well alright buddy it was great talking to you and we'll make sure everyone keeps their eyes open for Thor the rock opera.

Alright I really appreciate it.

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WILD ZERO - Review

Watching Japanese horror films is always interesting for me. I appreciate them for the striking visuals and special effects but sometimes don’t know quite how to take them, honestly. Culturally speaking their films often interpret things differently and I’m not sure I always “get” the sense of humor or style. But I had no problem with WILD ZERO, a film that is a full-out punk rock assault to the senses. Cars, guitars, motorcycles, and mics shoot flames, heads explode with ferocity, and a punk rock/surf soundtrack fuels all the action. Welcome to Wild Zero, a Japanese punk rock/horror/comedy/superhero/ alien invasion/zombie splatterfest.  Yeah, there’s a lot going on in this movie!

 

Here's the recipe for Wild Zero:
Mix “Dawn of the Dead” with “Rock n’ Roll High School”, add 2 parts “Plan 9 from Outer Space” & one part “The Crying Game”. Mix ample amounts of anime and comedy, and a pinch of an old Elvis movie. Mix in blender. Enjoy until your ears bleed.

 

Wild Zero was made in 2000 and directed by Tetsuro Takeuchi. I don’t know anything about Mr. Takeuchi – IMDB only lists him as director of two films - but I know Guitar Wolf kicks serious ass. They’re a garage-punk/surf trio that is the favorite band of lead character Ace, the man with the mile high pompadour. Guitar Wolf members are: Guitar Wolf, Bass Wolf, and Drum Wolf. Channeling the Ramones they are the epitome of cool, dressed in matching black leather jackets, sunglasses, jeans and enough hair grease to make any 50’s rocker proud. Guitar Wolf the singer wears a red guitar slung over his shoulder everywhere he goes, and plays the chords from Link Wray’s RUMBLE as a battle cry when it’s time to kick ass. Now THAT’s rock n’ roll!

Ace is going to see them play at a nearby club. We see Guitar Wolf jamming onstage, the camera swooping around the room while the crowd goes crazy. Afterwards Ace heads backstage where he stumbles across an altercation between the band and the club owner, The Captain (who wears some insanely tight hotpants and Moe Howard wig). 

 

He overhears The Captain telling the boys that rock n’ roll is dead and, enraged, he bursts into the room shouting - “Rock 'n Roll is NOT over, baby! Rock 'n Roll NEVER DIES!” The club owner and the band are facing off in a Mexican standoff, guns drawn Tarantino style. 

Using the distraction to their advantage Guitar Wolf blasts away, taking one thug’s head off clean at the shoulders and blasting two of The Captain’s fingers off. To thank Ace for the help Guitar Wolf gives him a wolf whistle and tells him to blow it if he’s ever in trouble.

In the first half of this movie Guitar Wolf functions almost like Ace’s muse, or conscience. They appear in times of crisis and spur him to action. Ace is a bit of a dork, kind of like the goofy teenager most of us used to be (I definitely speak for myself here).  He stops at a gas station and inadvertently foils a robbery, hitting the would-be bandit with the door and knocking him down. The thieves run off and our reluctant hero meets a girl named Tobio. The two are immediately attracted to one another, and after making small talk awkward Ace drives off, telling her he hopes he sees her again sometime. A little way down the road he finds a van stranded on the side of the road. He stops to see if anyone needs help and is stunned to find a pack of blue skinned zombies ripping apart two unfortunate corpses, presumably occupants of the vehicle.

 

 

You see, the film actually began with shots of disc-shaped flying saucers coming to Earth from outer space. They have resurrected the dead a-la Plan 9 From Outer Space. Ace runs to his scooter and hops on it to leave, but he stops, remembering Tobio. Should he leave her?  Suddenly Guitar Wolf (the singer) appears on the road, on a flame throwing motorcycle, and he tells Ace to go for it! Save the girl!

Ace avoids the zombies and heads back to the station, where he finds Tobio in trouble, surrounded by a horde of hungry zombies. He helps fend them off and they escape, making their way to an empty house where they barricade themselves inside, safe for the moment. They tell each other how much they like one another and kiss momentarily, but Ace stops, apologizing for taking advantage. Tobio stands, and to show him how she feels, drops her clothing. The camera slowly pans down her naked body, and in a revealing moment we find a shocking secret – she is a he! Ace runs screaming into a back room!

He is sick to his stomach, and cursing – why does this always happen to me?! Guitar Wolf (the singer) appears in the room. He points at Ace and tells him, “True love knows no boundaries, color or gender! DO IT!" Ace pulls his shit together, decides Guitar Wolf is right, and kicks open the door, resolve strengthened.  The room is full of zombies and Tobio is nowhere to be seen - Ace attacks the zombies in a fury!

At this point the story shifts back to Guitar Wolf (the band). They’re playing in a neighboring bar, and we’re treated to a kick ass song called Exploding Blood. This movie has a thing for flame throwing – Guitar Wolf’s mic shoots flames out of it while he sings. Cut to the Captain, who learns they are playing in the next town and jumps into HIS flame throwing car, still sporting lace-up hotpants, and heads out to find them and get revenge.

Ace blows his whistle and Guitar Wolf hears the call – they leave the club and head out to find him. Along the way they save a female arms dealer from zombies and team up with her, picking up some serious armament for their fight against the zombies. Ace is saved and Guitar Wolf takes back the Whistle. “You don’t need this anymore,” he tells him. “Believe in the Power of Rock N Roll!” Ace heads out to find Tobio, emboldened by Guitar Wolf’s words.

This sets up the final showdown between Guitar Wolf and The Captain. They square off and during the battle they both gain super powers! It’s up to the band to stop The Captain and save the day from aliens and zombies. Much insanity ensues including zombie smashing, bazooka wielding, shuriken guitar pick throwing and a sword drawn from the neck of Guitar Wolf’s guitar.

 

 This film speaks to the importance of self reliance, acceptance, and individualism. Ace learns to overcome his own fears, of both taking action and in his relationship, and is rewarded with the gift of true love. It is a fun ride from start to finish and I highly recommend it.

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Black Sabbath Returns - without Bill Ward?

In 1969 the band BLACK SABBATH formed and the music world was never the same. Guitarist Tony Iommi, singer Ozzy Osbourne, bassist Geezer Butler, and drummer Bill Ward made up the band that was arguably the first heavy metal band. In November of last year the announcement was made that after 43 years the original band would reform for a new album and tour. This was exciting news and fans around the world were thrilled. However, word has it that the tour will take place without drummer Bill Ward, as contract issues have arisen and according to sources band manager Sharon Osbourne fired Butler, who was unhappy with the contract he was offered and wanted to be "paid like one of the founding members." He will be replaced on the tour by Ozzy's drummer for his solo band Tommy Clufetos.

There have been a total of 22 members of Sabbath over the years. For a full list go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Black_Sabbath_band_members 
The only member in the group consistently from the beginning is Tony Iommi, so the precedent is there for other musicians to tour with the band. But as this is a chance for a full renunion it would be dissappointing to not have Ward onboard.

Without knowing all the details it's hard to make a judgement here on who's right or wrong, but one thing is for sure, a full renunion with all four original band members would be something special. I don't understand what the issue is, unless Ozzy and Tony are getting a bigger share of profits because of their "star' status, which doesn't seem right to me either if that's the case. We'll just have to sit tight and wait for more details to emerge. 

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MONSTER DOG - Review

Monster Dog

1984

Directed by Claudio Fragasso (as Clyde Anderson)

 

“For better or worse we have a new king who will live in the house of the damned forever!”

  

If you’re going to cast Alice Cooper in your film what better role to give him than “the hottest rock act in the world?” Monster Dog was made in 1984 and stars Alice Cooper as world famous rock star Vincent Raven (a little ironic as Alice’s real name is Vincent). 

 

Monster Dog was shot in Spain and written and directed by Claudio Fragasso, director of the infamous Troll 2. The Spanish version of this film was called Leviathan, the English version Monster Dog. I of course watched the English version. The voices are all dubbed, including Vincent’s for some inexplicable reason. I have no idea why they did this but it detracted from what appears to be a pretty decent acting job by Alice. 

   
The movie opens with a music video for the song IDENTITY CRISIS. In it Vincent dresses in a series of costumes to match the lyrics - James Bond, Billy the Kid, Sherlock Holmes, Jack the Ripper – to go along with the song...

 

Sometimes I'm James Bond,

Sometimes I'm Billy the Kid,

Sometimes I feel like Sherlock Holmes,

Sometimes I feel like Jack the Rip-per

 

It’s actually a pretty good song, and is of course sung by Alice. It sounds musically like it could have fit right into one of Cooper’s previous two albums, DaDa (1983) or Zipper Catches Skin (1982), and in fact it wouldn’t surprise me if this song and the other one featured in this movie, SEE ME IN THE MIRROR, were actually unused tracks from one of those albums. Both DaDa and Zipper were recorded while Alice was experimenting with different styles, letting pop, new wave and even punk influences creep into his music. Alice was also drinking heavily during that period, and in fact has said he doesn’t even remember recording them. He checked into rehab and got sober following DaDa, and Monster Dog was perhaps the first project he undertook post-rehab. In 1986 he recorded his comeback album CONSTRICTOR, returning to his rock roots, this time with a metal edge. But I digress…

   
The camera cuts to a shot of a van driving down a highway, and we find that the music video is actually playing on a television set in the van. This was before the days of portable televisions or DVD players, so it's pretty funny to see a 80s style top-loading VCR on the front console.

 

Inside the van are Vincent and a film crew. They’re returning to Vincent's home town to shoot a new music video. Vincent used to live there in a big gothic mansion and they’re planning to use it in the upcoming video shoot. The van comes up to a roadblock where the local sheriff and deputy warn them that a pack of wild dogs is loose in the area and has killed five people. The sheriff recognizes Vincent. "You sure picked a fine time to come home Vincent," he says. "People haven't forgotten that story about your dad..."

 

 

The band jumps back into the van and hits the road. Suddenly a dog lunges in front of the van. They screech to a halt. The dog is injured, and Vincent humanely puts it out of its misery - with a rock to the head! Repeatedly! An old man with torn, bloodied clothes emerges from the woods. He warns them that they’re all gonna die before running back off into the woods.

 

The band finally arrives at Vincent's house but no one is there. They find a roaring fire, food prepared, but the house is otherwise empty. Vincent had expected the old family caretaker Jos to be there – he searches the house for him to no avail. It is, of course a full moon…

 That night one of the girls named Angela has a nightmare where the old man they met earlier is chasing her through the house, trying to kill her. She finds the corpses of her friends and Vincent changed into a werewolf! She wakes and tells the band about it, but they laugh it off. This was actually a pretty cool sequence in the movie.

 

  Downstairs Vincent’s girlfriend Sandra finds him in the library reading a book titled "WEREWOLVES - LEGENDS AND SCIENTIFIC REALITIES.” Sandra is played by actress Victoria Vera, a real cutie who went on to do a lot of modeling and acting in film, television and theater in Spain. 

  
There’s another unintentionally funny moment here where they show a close-up of this “scientifically accurate” book featuring a full page photograph of Lon Chaney Jr. in full werewolf makeup! Hilarious! 

 

Vincent explains about a rare heart disease that causes the person afflicted with it to believe he’s a werewolf. His father had been stricken with this disease and the townsfolk killed him, believing he was a werewolf. Vince worries that the disease has been passed down to him.

 

The next day filming begins on the music video for SEE ME IN THE MIRROR. It’s a slow song, and the shoot consists of Vincent singing into a hand held mirror while Angela, dressed in a wedding gown, walks slowly down the old staircase of the house. We’re treated to the entire song here, and Vincent wears makeup with blue eye shadow over one eye and sharp, penciled in eyebrows. 

 

The video is interrupted when the body of the caretaker crashes through an upstairs stain glass window and falls into the shot (actually landing on Angela). The crew runs upstairs to investigate where the body came and Angela wanders off into the woods, traumatized. Vincent grabs a shotgun and heads out after her, makeup still intact!  He tells the rest of them to barricade themselves in and if he isn’t back by sunset to leave without him.

 

While he’s gone a group of locals surround the house. They cut the phone lines and take the film crew hostage until Vince returns. They tell them that Vince is a werewolf like his father before him. One of the werewolf’s powers is to control dogs, and they believe Vince is behind the rash of killings, commanding his dogs to do his bidding. They have a silver bullet especially for him…

 

Vince finally catches up to Angela and convinces her to come back to the house with him, which turns out to be unfortunate for her as she’s shot and killed upon their arrival. The men chase Vince up to the roof of the house, where he is able to hide and pick them off one by one. There is a magnificent exploding head scene here as Vince nails one of the thugs right in the kisser with a shotgun.

 

Meanwhile a pack of dogs breaks into the house and attacks the crew, ripping one of them to shreds. Suddenly they stop, and back away from the crew. The front doors of the house burst open and we see the Monster Dog itself. It’s actually a puppet and is shrouded in fog so we never get a good look at it. This is probably a good thing, honestly, as it’s pretty fake looking. 

 

The final act of the film is where the werewolf part of the movie FINALLY kicks in. We find out the secret of the werewolf curse and just who’s behind the killings. One thing I can definitely say about Claudio’s movies, they have interesting, if somewhat convoluted, storylines.

 

This film is unrepentantly 80s – the fashion, hair, music - all of it sets it firmly in 1984. Monster Dog is heavy on atmosphere, and heavy on fog. I have a friend who used to say the higher the fog level the better the film – judging on that scale this would be a masterpiece.

Monster Dog has a fairy tale like quality to it, much like Troll 2 to some extent, and is an interesting movie, all told. If only they hadn’t dubbed Alice’s voice. Definitely recommended for all Cooper fans. Available on Netflix streaming.

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